The best leaders use challenges to make them better, not bitter. Every obstacle that you and I face provides us with an opportunity to grow. When you shift your perspective from seeing obstacles as things that are standing in your way to things that are going to challenge you to grow, it changes your mindset. The shift in perspective allows you to welcome the challenge. You can welcome a crisis because you know, in the end, it’s going to serve its purpose by helping you develop and grow.
It doesn’t mean that the crises we face aren’t real or they aren’t hard. It simply means that we can choose to see purpose behind them and use them as opportunities to grow. It’s possible to end up better and stronger on the other side. You might be in the middle of a crazy storm of a crisis, but as long as you keep water out of your boat, you won’t sink. The best navigators know how to guide their ships. The waves can be high, and it can be really scary. I totally get it, but you’ve got to stay focused on what you can control. Keep the water out of your boat. That's the goal. The storm is a reality. You can’t change it, but you can keep the water out. At the center of every hurricane is the eye where there’s total calmness. I want you to think about it as if you're in the middle of a hurricane today. Don't get inside of the waves and don't get out of your boat. The reality is that you control you and as a result, you can choose to remain calm. Confidence is something that comes from the inside. Let what’s inside come out.
People are attracted to confidence. You know what you’re doing, and you can do this. When you’re confident, you can collaborate with people to create amazing results. I want to encourage you that you don’t have to just spin your wheels and survive today. You can actually move your life forward through the crisis. You can live in a sense of peace no matter what circumstances life throws your way. You can choose to be creative instead of complaining. You can be a responsive and effective navigator. You just have to shift your mindsets because your mindsets determine your method.
3 Mindsets to Develop When You’re Going Through a Challenging Time
1. Things/circumstances don’t happen to you.
They happen for you. There is value in every circumstance- every crisis, every challenge. A way to not waste the crisis is to ask yourself, “What does this make possible?” If you don’t take the time to look at the situation from a different perspective, you’ll never see the opportunities.
2. You’re a hero, not a victim.
Victims ask, “Why is this happening?” Heroes ask, “What else can I do?”
Victims believe there’s nothing they can do. A hero realizes there’s always something they can do.
3. You are ridiculously in charge of you.
E + R = O Events + Your Response = Outcome
Political things happen, circumstances happen, but they don’t control the final outcome.
You do. When you and I respond through confidence and clarity, we have a direct effect on the outcomes we experience.
2 Ways To Manage Those Mindsets
1. Manage the questions that you ask yourself
Questions create open loops in your brain. Manage the questions you’re asking and you’ll manage your thoughts.
Don’t ask why. Use the Drama Free Question Matrix - ask How or What paired with an action verb. Here are a few examples: What else can I do? How can I make this better? What is my very next step? How can I still make things happen?
2. Manage your energy
Exercise- endorphins are the best drugs.
Eat clean- fight the temptation to comfort yourself with sugar. You can feel better in the moment, but you’ll feel worse long term.
Sleep- tired eyes don’t see well. The best decision you might make today is to take a nap so you can wake up with clarity.
Practice thankfulness- whatever you’re thankful for always increases. Even in a challenge. There are good things going on. Focus on them.
If you develop and continue to cultivate these 3 mindsets, not only will you survive this, you’ll grow from it. It’s about progress- not perfection.
If it’s to be, it’s up to me. That’s great news. You can choose to use whatever challenge you’re facing today to make yourself better!
Dennis McIntee, a gifted keynote speaker and author, travels across the US speaking at leadership summits, management training events and healthcare conferences. So many people already know Dennis as “The Drama Free Guy.” This is because Dennis understands that if you eliminate of unhealthy drama in the workplace, your teams will thrive and succeed. In addition to being a keynote speaker, he is also a leadership consultant passionate about helping leaders create high-trust, high-performance cultures.
Dennis is also the author of The 8 Qualities of Drama Free Teams, The Power of Pursuit, Drama Free Teams in Healthcare, Drama Free Productivity, Drama Free Relationships.
He has been married to his wife, Lisa, for 27 years and together they have four children. Whenever he isn’t writing, traveling or speaking, Dennis is an avid runner and enjoys training for races and watching soccer.